Here I am writing on a Monday night, because I have nothing better to do. I cant wait for school to start and cant wait for work to start in 4 days? Bitch, I cant stand not earning money. I take 2 jobs like I did in Sem 1 of Uni if it wasnt for my dad. If only my dad werent here, I treat my house like a hotel room and work my ass off and come home only to sleep and maybe shower. Lol. Im so sick of being broke and staying at home and doing literally no shit.
School only start in Feb. Everyone be like ‘you gonna regret what you say’ but I wont. I literally love going to school. I truly truly enjoy what Im studying and sincerely love going to school. So what if its 830am class. I live near school (partially what makes me love school because for once since pri sch, I get to go school so fast and I get to wake up late).
I feel so extremely stuck in my current situation I feel nauseous everytime I sink in and think about it. I better do well in school so I can leave this hell hole with my dad. Oh, and bring M along with me. My emotional support for the past 3 years.
Im just such an angsty person I wish I could change. Why am I always pissed and bottling shit inside me? I feel like Im emotionally constipated (if thats even a thing). I made huge mistakes in 2013, huge big fat gigantic mistakes. In this brand new 2014, Im gonna do it right and Im gonna do it my way. Aint regretting the mistakes I did, had loads of fun and life changing moments. But aint nobody got time for repeating them. 2014 is about improvements, motivation and earning em’ cold hard cash.
In so much debt Im so worried. Financial problems should never be one of my concern in the future. Im gonna work so hard I will never have to depend on anybody. Damn… and I thought I wanted to be a young mum. Cant be a young mum if I wanna work. Ah.. Im stretching it. Way too far away, shant think about that now.
Played too much the second half of my 2013, too much. 2014 is where I’ll start doing right and focus and do well in school and give no fuck about ppl I dislike. Oh yeah and I need to lose some weight. I feel literally disgusted just looking at myself in the mirror. Like… bitch how you go out looking like that? But I cant stop eating. I feel like I should go for some therapy or something. Hitting the gym right tmr and Im gonna join 2 classes because I need to bust em fats.
2014 New Year Resolution
- Lose weight and keep fit (goal: 47kg)
- Do well in school
- Repay all my debt (so basically just work, no fun)
- Less shopping
- Stop #yolo-ing
There I proclaimed it. Im gonna try so gdamn hard to keep these so 2014 better treat me the way I want to be treated. Peace out.